I love these ten rules about how to make a marriage work. A strong foundation is very important when it comes to marriage. As President Spencer W. Kimball once told students at a BYU Devotional, "While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible, and marriage can be more on exultant ecstasy than the human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person." So, a real and happy marriage is very obtainable, if we choose to take the challenges that it may throw at us and turn those challenges into things that we can reflect back on and learn from!
A short Mormon Message to go along with my previous post..... Enjoy :)
Nowadays, divorce seems to be the "easy way out" of a marriage. Often times, people enter into a civil or eternal marriage thinking, "Well, if it doesn't work out, i guess there's always divorce." Researchers have estimated that 40 to 50 percent of marriages are ending in divorce in the United States. "Faithful Latter-Day Saints are hardly immune to divorce. Precise estimates of the Latter-Day Saint divorce rate are difficult to obtain but ones estimate is that 25-30 percent of LDS couples who regularly attend church experience a divorce" (Successful Marriages and Families pg. 79). There are many options that a couple can take to strengthen their marriage when struggling. Some of them include: Speaking with their bishop, seeking out counsel from a professional, working on their weaknesses together and realizing that divorce really shouldn't be an option. And if it is, it MUST be a last resort. Parents do not realize that divorce does not only affect them, but their children also. "For a young child, psychologically, divorce is the equivalent of lifting a hundred pound weight over the head. Processing all the radical and unprecedented changes-loss of a parent, loss of a home, of friends- stretches immature cognitive and emotional abilities to the absolute limit and sometimes beyond that limit" (79). So, if you find that your own marriage is struggling, please, think of your options, of your children and of your future!
Studies show that "the habits children develop early in their lives stay with them and are difficult to change... Youth observe their parents' behavior in sports programs and often mimic the behavior when they engage in sport programs on their own. Parents interest in helping their children become flexible and curious should spend quality playtime with them and model good sportsmanship, kindness and fair play. Time spent playing with children also helps them become more secure and independant" (Successful Marriages and Families pg. 230). I believe that engaging our children in fun and meaningful activities will help us to be better parents, strenghthen the bonds within our families and most importantly, give our children a well balanced life! Here are a few ideas for wholesome family recreation:
1. Have an evening featuring the music, art, literature, or
dance of your ancestors. For example, find out who the composers of that time
were and what musical instruments people played. Play tapes or records of their
native music, and discuss how it makes you feel.
Or, you could show photographs of paintings, carvings, and
sculpture from the countries of your ancestors. Who are the artists and what do
you like about their art?
Or, talk about the literature people read at the time your
ancestors lived. Find a book, story, or poem to read from together. You might
make a family project out of reading a whole book together.
If someone in your family is a dancer, have that person learn
a native dance from the country of an ancestor and teach it to the family. Or,
you can teach each other. Find pictures to show native dance costumes.
Watch for cultural activities in your area that feature arts
from the countries of your ancestors. Attend as a family.
2. Celebrate Christmas by making presents that were popular
during your grandparents' time (see Janet Brigham, "Christmas Presents from the
Past," New Era, Dec. 1980, pp. 4041).
3. Serve a heritage dinner, with several kinds of foods if you
have ancestors from several different cultures. Let the children make and
decorate place mats. Also, make a pretty centerpiece for the table, perhaps out
of flowers native to your ancestors' countries.
4. Make flannel-board figures and use them to tell stories
from family journals and histories.
5. Past Relief Society Cultural Refinement lessons, which have
covered many countries, may help you learn about the countries of your
ancestors. Check with your ward library for copies of past Relief Society
manuals, tapes, and filmstrips.
6. Decorate your home with the colors of your ancestors' flag.
If you have Italian ancestors, use green, red, and white. If your people are
Scottish, try to find out what their clan's plaid looked like. Use these colors
in a throw pillow, a patchwork quilt, Christmas decorations, or a family
banner.
7. Do you have artists or craftsmen among your own ancestors?
Family histories—written or oral—may tell of the talents and interests of your
ancestors. Talk about carrying on the arts and crafts in your family and about
starting your own traditions.
Having faith in a family is one of the most important things a couple could have. Often times we see marriages fall apart and families hurt by things such as infidelity. When marriages fall apart many people are hurt by it. A big reason for this is the lack of faith and religion that should dwell in the home. Religion in the key to keeping a lasting marriage because it brings families closer together. When you pray and read the scriputures as a family it invites the spirit into the home and allows the family to bond together and feel a sense of peace. Attending church meetings and fulfilling church callings is also important to build a family because it helps us grow closer to our Heavenly Father who blesses our lives. When a family is closer to the Lord then they will be blessed and in times of need they will be able to turn to their father in heaven and ask in faith for help and it will be given to them. Families that don't have a firm faith to stand on, often times tend to not deal with difficult situations as easily as those who do because they in their minds don't have anyone to turn to and tend to blame each other for the things that are going wrong. Families without faith or religion in their home also seem to always be missing something, there are plenty of families out there that don't have faith and religion and in someway seem to make their marriage work, however they are always missing something in their homes. The spirit doesn't preside in their home and therefore they are missing the warm feeling and the peace that a home should have.
